Homeowner asks his sister to move out after she stops helping around the house and contributing despite finding a full-time job: 'Am I being too strict?'

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jul 17, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

An example of the fine line between helping and enabling family…

When his sister asked to move in with him and his wife, the homeowner agreed since she was in a situation of need. They agreed that she would stay for six months, get a full-time job, and contribute with groceries and chores. After a couple of months, the man is debating whether to kick her out or let her stay, even though she hasn't followed through on any of those commitments.

There are multiple cases like this in every type of family. We were told that family comes first, and that we should do everything we can to help a family member. But what happens when that person doesn't contribute to anything and becomes a burden? Because that's exactly what's happening to this man.

As he mentions in the story, of course he would do whatever he can to help his sister, and that's why he let her move into this home, not before addressing a couple of rules she had to follow. The only thing she managed to complete was getting a job, but the rest, helping around the house, buying groceries, or cleaning up, was not something she fulfilled. 

The homeowner, as a consequence, now wants her out the door as soon as possible… but, again, it's his sister, and now the moral and ethical debate comes around. When is setting your own boundaries a good enough reason to stand in front of a family member and demand something you feel is legitimate? From my point of view, keeping my inner peace and ensuring there's respect for my home goes above any family member.

If things were only this simple…

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  • Man overwhelmed while considering a difficult family housing decision.
    via Unsplash+ (via Christian Erfurt)

    Man overwhelmed while considering a difficult family housing decision. 

    Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model.

  • Six months ago, my younger sister asked if she could stay with my wife and me after losing her job. We agreed, but only because we made some ground rules: she'd help with chores, contribute to groceries once she found work, and the arrangement would last no more than six months unless we all agreed otherwise.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • She found a full-time job about two months later, which was great. The problem is that nothing else changed. She stopped helping around the house, rarely cleaned up after herself, and never offered to contribute toward groceries or utilities. Whenever I brought it up, she'd say she was trying to save money to get her own place.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Last week the six-month mark came and I told her we needed to start planning for her to move out. She got upset and said I was choosing money over family. My parents called and asked if we could let her stay "just a little longer."
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • The issue isn't really the money. It's that it feels like she stopped treating this as temporary and started acting like she was entitled to stay indefinitely.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Now I'm wondering if I'm being too strict. AITH?
    via leandroignacio1rs

  • While some Redditors agreed that he should give his sister a second chance, or at least have a chat with her before kicking her out, others were furious and confirmed to the homeowner that he, in fact, should ask her to move out and find a place for herself. They state that she's old enough to put on her big girl pants and to look for a life for herself.

  • Lamberly NTA. If you extend the deadline once, they're just going to keep pushing you to extend it every single time. You gave reasonable boundaries on a very generous offer, don't let them question yourself
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • ImmediateEscape31 Stick to your guns. Also, if family helps family, your parents have a house she can live in.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Woman packing belongings as a temporary living situation comes to an end.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    Woman packing belongings as a temporary living situation comes to an end. 

    Image shown for illustrative purposes; does not depict actual events.

  • 2mankyhookers So she gets free rent, free utilities and free food... and you are asking if you are being too strict ? NTA, you are being taken advantage of, and you don't need strangers to tell you that.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • putuffala NTA. Your parents should not be contributing opinions without contributing to the mortgage/utilities/feeding of their daughter. I'd sit down and consider what terms (if any) would make me willing to continue to host a selfish freeloader. Id tell her those terms and she can agree or leave. Maybe give her a month to find a place or move in with your opinionated parents.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Rabt_FTS NTA. She was treating your house like a teenage dependent and she's not your child. She's had 4 months to save up for a place with little to no outside expenses. If she doesn't have the money by now, what did she spend it on?
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • aaseandersen Tell your parents that you would have been more than willing to help further if these last six months had not felt like living with a spoiled and ungrateful teenager. Its time for her to grow up and trash her own place. Serve her with an official eviction. NTA.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • fpuk69 If she was still out of work then that would be harsh but she's got a job so can afford to move out If your parents want to get involved then they can help her with a deposit or first months rent for her own place
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • oldleolady71 Stick to the plan before she gets too comfortable. As of now she's just another person for you to pay for and clean up after. Let her go live at mom's.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • santana0987 Squatter's rights... that's all I'm saying. And NTAH of course, OP. STICK to your guns before she decides the move was permanent and you then will have to get the law involved
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Brother and sister navigating tension after a living arrangement no longer works for both sides.
    via Unsplash+ (via Baylee Gramling)

    Brother and sister navigating tension after a living arrangement no longer works for both sides. 

    People depicted are models used for illustrative purposes.

  • AndSo-Itbegins I don't get the "family helps family" meme. It's always one family member (OP) helping another, who typically is doing zero to help in return. And the other family members pulling the phrase out are usually doing nothing. Seems like the ohrase really means "family takes advantage of family"
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • REMwoman70 She's had four months to get her own place. Plenty of time, especially since she wasn't wasting any of her time keeping up her end of your agreement.
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Designer Thought2907 NTA, time for her to move out, grow up, and become responsible. Don't back down and enable her
    via leandroignacio1rs
  • Football-Man-1889 NTA She's a freeloader
    via leandroignacio1rs

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sibling drama homeowner sister moving in entitled people
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